Digital Echoes of Solitude: Kitso’s Journey Beyond Facebook

BY KITSO MOTLOLE

This is a true story. It tells the story of 18-year-old Kitso, who faced challenges when using a social networking site known as Facebook. The challenge he faced was Facebook rejection. Facebook rejection is when someone doesn't accept your friend request. There was a girl who liked her very much. His crush was someone who was very quiet but not as introverted and shy as Kitso. Every day, Kitso was thinking about her and tried to connect with her online. But, his crush rejected his friend request, and this hurt Kitso so much since he was very fond of her.

In a quiet village near Taung, 18-year-old Kitso lived a clean and introverted life with his parents. As a shy and introverted soul, he navigated life with no friends. He often found himself alone, especially when his parents were away. Kitso discovered he had bipolar disorder in 2022, adding another layer to his solitary existence.

Kitso, the second child, carried a poignant history. His older brother passed away in 2003, two years before his birth. Another tragedy struck in 2016 when his younger brother left the world after her mother had a miscarriage.

One reason he decided to leave Facebook was because of the hurtful feeling of rejection. He had a crush on a girl who shared his daily transport, even though they went to different schools. Being shy and introverted, Kitso found it hard to talk to people face to face. He found it difficult to talk to the girl face to face, so he turned to online communication. At first, he did not know her real name. He spent many days searching for the girl's real name just to send her a friend request. When Kitso finally found her real name, he was happy and excited.

The first time he sent her a friend request, it happened on the day of his Business Studies final exam. After finishing the paper, he found out that his friend request had been cancelled. Feeling sad, he also sent her a private message saying "Hi," but she didn't respond. This made him wonder if she didn't like him, if he was boring, if he wasn't good enough, or if he was ugly.

Days after Kitso’s first attempt to send his crush a friend request. There was a time when Kitso’s driver had left his crush and her friends because they had rushed to the tuck shop, so Kitso told the driver that there were people who went to the shop, he must wait for them, the driver refused to stop, he said there is no bus stop in shop. Kitso saw it as a chance for his crush to finally reply his message so, he sent her a message explaining to her why their driver left them because he also didn’t want to look like a useless person. He explained to her why their driver had left them, but she did not respond to his message. It was blue ticked and seen. The following minutes, after 30 minutes, Kitso sent her other friend a message explaining to her why their driver had left them, and she responded quickly.

Facebook troubles continued when Kitso’s main account got locked because of some verification issues. He couldn’t recover it due to a locked SIM card. Kitso created another account after the first one got locked. Days after creating a new account, his attempt to send a friend request again to the girl was quickly rejected, leaving Kitso in an emotional way.

The cycle of rejection and technical problems on Facebook made Kitso feel even more lonely. Eventually, he decided to leave the platform, hoping to find connections and understanding beyond the digital world.

A few months after quitting Facebook, Kitso decided it was time to stop thinking about his crush, and it was time to stop annoying her by sending her a lot of friend requests. Even though it was tough because he still had feelings for her, he focused on his interests to help him move on. Whenever he saw her, especially on the school bus, he felt nervous and scared, but using his smartphone helped him deal with those feelings.

Despite his crush rejecting him, he decided to learn things he liked, such as programming, grammar, and how to manage money to foster personal growth. It was his way of turning bad feelings into a chance to make himself better.